TV criticism - Off course: Why our author can no longer stand the "dreamboat"
It was a flop. There's no other way to put it. On December 26, "Traumschiff" achieved the worst ratings in its history.Only 4.68 million people tuned in, one million fewer than on the same day a year ago. What a shame.
Until now, I have always defended the "Traumschiff". Because I am a "Traumschiff" ultra. I've seen well over half of the almost 100 episodes. I watched most of them during the coronavirus pandemic, when it was impossible to predict whether there would ever be such a thing as vacations without isolation again. So all-inclusive buffets and flirting with strangers by the pool, an ideal world and sunshine and shiny white uniforms. The "Traumschiff" was the most beautiful place in Germany for me. Full speed ahead towards escapism!
A sheriff with a German potato accent on the "Traumschiff"
But maybe I was wrong. In the current, 99th episode, it was unfortunately hard to miss the fact that the tanker has had its day. The journey took us to the US state of Utah. The fact that Utah is a vast desert with no access to the sea is no longer an issue. The cruise passengers and the "dream ship" staff travel by plane from the port. Kai Pflaume then appears in the middle of the desert and plays an American sheriff with a German potato accent. So at first everything is as it always is: a bit mad, but charming.
The principle of the episodes is always the same: three parallel stories are told. Usually: one funny, one exciting and one love story. The music is dodgy and the narratives are rosy. The captain is on a motorcycle tour in Utah and a couple called Annika and Markus want to save his marriage. She has cheated on him with a colleague. An immunocompromised pensioner who is terrified of illness comes on board. And that's where it starts: from then on, he has to serve up lame hypochondriac jokes as if there had never been a pandemic with 6.8 million deaths.
The first "Traumschiff" episode aired on November 22, 1981 and is available in the media library."Love and Carrot Juice" was about an elderly gentleman called Walter who tries to stay away from the buffet because he is obsessively on a diet. About a married couple called Hermann and Charlotte who have won the trip and communicate exclusively in passive-aggressive dialog. Yes, these are, pi mal thumb, the same characters as more than 40 years later in Utah. Only the dialog was less lame back then and the female characters were occasionally allowed to fight their own conflicts.
Threesomes from the offended male ego
In Utah, on the other hand, there are three types of offended male ego: The captain is forced off the road on his motorcycle. The cheated-on husband has repeated outbursts of rage that make you want to call the women's shelter. The hypochondriac pensioner and Harald Schmidt in his role as entertainment director engage in unpleasantly raunchy dialog with poor Collien Ulmen-Fernandes, who is on board as the ship's doctor. Instead of ending in the cruise company's compliance department, this narrative thread ends in warm words and winks.
It's old-fashioned and dull. And the "Traumschiff" authors are probably grossly underestimating their audience. After all, 14.5 percent of the 14 to 49 age group watch the show. However, more of them probably end up on Netflix. For example, the great reality series "Below Deck", in which a crew sails around the world on a luxury yacht. Similar setting, but much better stories.
So it's not the format. Locking ridiculous caricatures together on a cruise ship is a great idea from a dramaturgical point of view. So many good plots could come out of it. For example, how about a polyamorous family who fall in love again by the pool? With a few diverse characters? Occasional non-white characters on the "Traumschiff" are reserved for serving champagne, loading luggage into trunks and running up to the captain's dinner with the wonder cakes at the end. The almost 30 percent of Germans with an immigrant background who also sit in front of the television are likely to feel stultified by this.
The ignorance of travel destinations is also becoming embarrassing and unfortunately exactly what German tourists are said to be all over the world. Sometimes a turtle breeding station is visited, sometimes a temple, sometimes a farm. In Indonesia - where the "Traumschiff" sets sail for its 100th episode - Florian Silbereisen is having an affair with a married woman. This would be a good opportunity to mention that sex between unmarried people has been a criminal offense there since 2022. The law also applies to foreigners. Instead, the few sentences about the country bring out the colonial racist cliché that the locals are so infectiously cheerful.
How about the climate crisis?
Or Utah. The beautiful national parks that Annika and Markus use as a backdrop for their tough relationship disputes are in danger - the climate crisis could make them unvisitable. The risk of fires is increasing and proliferating algae are producing toxic gases. In Utah, there is no minimum age to sue and a group of children and young people have just sued the state to get it to finally do something about climate change. Now that would be a story!
Why can't a format with such a broad audience also tackle tough topics such as abortion and euthanasia? Migration and flight? Or how about at least some real love stories and relationship conflicts? And protagonists whose rough edges fall a little on their feet from time to time? Where's the me-too moment for the overbearing role played by Harald Schmidt? And why do marriages always have to be "saved"?
The idea of the "dreamboat" comes from the USA. There, the format "The Love Boat" ran for nine seasons on ABC. In November 1988, a married couple boarded the boat planning a theft together. A woman who wants to avoid Andy Warhol because she wants to forget the time when she starred in one of his films, and the crew demanding a pay rise.
But you don't have to do without the happy ending. Climate crisis solved, marriage opened, collective bargaining successful. That would also be an ideal world worthy of "Dreamboat". And a lot less dreary than Annika and Markus, who agree to continue their loveless marriage in Utah - in separate beds.
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Source: www.stern.de
