Difficulties in romantic connections. - Can being single lead to greater happiness? A psychologist shares insights.
Romantic partnerships entail tremendous amounts of effort and devotion. Occasionally, you might find yourself contemplating the idea of being single once more, with your partner causing you consternation and causing you to question if unattached life would be more gratifying. How, though, do you decide which situation is most appropriate for you?
In "Forbes" magazine, the American psychologist Mark Travers tackles this issue. First and foremost, he stresses that each relationship is unique and merits its own assessment. Then, he outlines three pillars that can aid in determining whether you'd be better off single or in a relationship: "Should I end and be single?"
The joy of a relationship: "A joyous partnership will make you happier than single life, but a strained relationship can make you much more unhappy than single life." In other words: Relationships can indeed bring happiness, but only when they're healthy. While various studies assert that people in relationships are only slightly happier than singles on average, that contentment in a relationship gradually declines to the pre-relationship level, and that an increasing number of satisfied individuals are entering relationships, Travers' conclusion is clear: You need to scrutinize your unique circumstance - weigh the pros of your current relationship against the positives of singlehood and ponder both immediate and long-term outcomes.
Desire for what you lackNot everything that appears glowing is genuinely goldenThe psychologist offers a matter-of-fact suggestion: Regret will inevitably be present in any decision you make. If you remain in your current relationship, you may eventually repent for not having a chance to explore different pathways. On the contrary, if you elect to disconnect, you might feel remorseful about missing potential better times together. It's critical to inquire: Which regret hurts you the most in the long run?
Dwelling on the pastThe third factor to take into account is whether your uncertainties about the relationship may stem from living in the past. Do you frequently dwell on nostalgic thoughts about how peaceful and relaxed single life was before the relationship? The psychologist cautions against romanticizing the past, as that time can never return.
Read also:
In pondering the joy of a relationship versus single life, Travers highlights that a healthy partnership can bring more happiness than being single, but an unhealthy one can actually make you more unhappy. Despite this, he emphasizes that various studies suggest people in relationships are only slightly happier than singles on average, with contentment in a relationship eventually declining to pre-relationship levels.
Given the inevitability of regret in any decision, Travers suggests carefully considering which regret would cause more long-term pain: staying in a current relationship and missing out on new experiences, or ending it and potentially missing out on better times together. He also warns against romanticizing the past, as it cannot be recreated.
