"The end of my marriage was the biggest turning point in my life"

Actor Kostja Ullmann - "The end of my marriage was the biggest turning point in my life"

You can be heard alongside Nina Hoss and Heino Ferch in the Audible mystery thriller production "Der Rattenfänger 2". What was it like working with the two of them?Very exciting, extremely enjoyable - but also short: there was only one day of recording together in Berlin, on which we were able to familiarize ourselves with our speaking roles and adjust to each other. Why only oneday? it's simply much more efficient in terms of time if we work through our texts and record them in a few days alone in the studio. If we were all there together, there would be too much idle time in between, when we would have to wait in the next room for our next assignment. And with the busy schedules of Nina and Heino in particular, it was difficult to organize the one day together, but isn't the energy and tension between the actors much greater when you can interact directly with each other?the recording day together is there to get a feeling for each other. The rest is then down to the performance of us actors,and "The Pied Piper 2" is extremely creepy and brutal at times. Doyou also like thrills in your private life?In my early 20s, for example, I enjoyed watching hard horror films, but also dark psychological thrillers. It was all about testing personal boundaries. I don't like it too extreme anymore - but I even went to the movies recently for the new edition of "The Exorcist".

Our world is currently more challenging and unfortunately also more nerve-wracking than ever due to the many negative developments. How do you take a break from this sometimes scary world?By going on smaller and larger trips. For example, I will soon be driving my electric car to Sweden on my own and going on a short round trip there. But I won't be going to the big cities, instead I'll be stopping off at tranquil cabins. Scandinavia is beautiful - but also very dark and depressing in winter -I have no problem at all with darkness and love the cozy atmosphere. I also really like the sun, which is why I always enjoy being in Cape Town, but I find the idea of leaving the world behind me in a small cabin by the lake with a fireplace and maybe even a sauna extremely appealing.what's on the agenda for you there?during the day I go for walks in the forest, in the evening I read a book. And I only use my cell phone when I really can't avoid it. If I have a network at all. Wonderful! That way I can calm down and sort myself out internally.you say that you travel alone. So you're good at just being with yourself?I was already able to do that as a child or young man when I got my first apartment. I often just sat there and stared at myself. From the outside, it must have looked like I was a bit of a psycho. But in those moments, I thought intensely about my life. Even today, I still like to be alone at times, let my thoughts flow and see what happens.

Many people find it difficult to listen intensively to themselves,and I can understand that! After all, it's not that easy to be patient with yourself and it can be a challenge to confront yourself. Asking yourself: who am I, what makes me tick and what do I really want in life? It's easier to be constantly distracted by your cell phone or watching Netflix in quiet, lonely moments. are you an early bird or a late bird?definitely the latter! That's because I don't go to bed until very late and usually can't fall asleep until two o'clock in the morning.AsI said, I was and still am a very thoughtful person, I think a lot about myself and life, which is why I often have a thousand thoughts in my head at the same time, even late at night before I fall asleep. And once it starts rattling around inside me, I don't find it easy to calm down. In the meantime, however, I have found a good way to help me sort out my chaos of thoughts,and I see a psychotherapist regularly. At first it wasn't easy to find someone I could trust. But now I have regular sessions and it's really good for me to sort out various issues from my past that are rumbling around inside me with her help. Afterwards, I always feel very relieved and tidy inside. I can therefore recommend it to everyone without reservation, but many people still shy away from taking this step -I think it's a question of age. In my experience, a visit to the psychologist has become much more normal and natural, especially for the younger generation. There is almost no fear of contact anymore. And why should they be? If we have problems with our physical health, we seek help. So why should it be taboo to seek support when it comes to mental health?

When was the biggest turning point in your life so far?Almost six years ago, after the end of my marriage and twelve years of partnership, I suddenly found myself alone and didn't really know what to do with myself at first. It took a lot out of me to get to know myself again for the first time after such a long time as a couple. But I was able to make good use of this time of new beginnings for myself-for example, I fulfilled a long-cherished wish and traveled to New Zealand for a long time. And this escape to the other side of the world was very good and important to get away from it all. Making decisions on my own again after twelve years was also an interesting experience. You will be celebrating your 40th birthday next year. Are you feelinga slight midlife crisis?40 is already on my mind - and yes, 40 is a number that sounds pretty big to me, even though I feel I'm closer to my early 30s. But it's also a fact that you're simply perceived differently at 40. In my movie, a 20-year-old colleague plays my daughter and she was quite shocked for a moment when she found out that I was turning 40 next year. For young people, 40 years is simply ancient. But hey: in the end, age is just a number!So there's no fear of getting older?not yet. I'm much more grateful if I can grow older at all. My circle of friends recently had a death at a very young age. That makes me humble! My father is now 78 years old. He's such a young-at-heart, active and agile guy - and recently he was totally shocked when he saw himself as such an old man in the mirror. He didn't recognize himself at that moment because he sees himself as so much younger.