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The dilemma of the traffic light government: triangular relationships rarely work

The traffic light: broken. AI and AfD: on the rise. And our pupils can no longer do maths either. Our columnist takes a sobering look back at 2023.

Robert Habeck (Alliance 90/The Greens), Olaf Scholz (SPD) and Christian Lindner (FDP) at a press....aussiedlerbote.de
Robert Habeck (Alliance 90/The Greens), Olaf Scholz (SPD) and Christian Lindner (FDP) at a press conference in the Federal Chancellery.aussiedlerbote.de

M. Beisenherz: Sorry, I'm here in private - The dilemma of the traffic light government: triangular relationships rarely work

When Manuel Neuer broke his leg skiing in the winter, it was already clear that this was going to be a tough year. Just like the bones of the national striker, the substance of the FRG is crumbling away. While the past few years were already characterized by a big "Can we do it?", 2023 was finally under the haze of a huge "Uff".

That now sounds more scholz than it was planned, and we should realize by the end of the year at the latest: Apart from comic-strip double entendres, the chancellor wouldn't get anything out this year that could emotionalize the people's souls. However, his sentence "We must finally deport people on a grand scale" stuck and showed that right-wing parties are no longer even needed for right-wing declarations of intent.

This country, it seems, is under pressure like never before. And yet we are among the lucky ones: Ask around in Afghanistan, Armenia, Iran, Ukraine or Israel, where Hamas set new standards for barbarism and terror on October 7.

Not even the Pope can help us anymore. Benedetto is in the ground, and his successor only makes a name for himself when he is haunting the web as a fake Francis in a spectacular white down jacket made of pure AI. No, there was no getting around artificial intelligence this year. No TV show, no podcast, no newspaper could resist presenting a moderation or a poem written exclusively by a computer. Soon every joke was just annoying, and there was a fear that the fun would lead us straight to nuclear extinction next. Almost a bit like Trump. But it won't be his turn again until next year.

Let someone tell me again that, in addition to the conflagration of war and climate catastrophe, humanity is not in a position to avoid creating yet another existential threat. Great!

The clamor for new elections is huge

Relying on artificial intelligence is understandable from a German perspective. Thanks to the Pisa study, we now know that German pupils are statistically more likely to jam a pen up their noses than solve a binomial formula. But who would blame them for not being able to deal with numbers? Scholz? Lindner? Habeck? Anyone who has ever tried it knows that triangular relationships rarely work. Rarely, however, has it been experienced so publicly. Habeck now seems so exhausted that no one would blame him if he took his muesli with marioca instead of water. In terms of popularity, Scholz is blithely whizzing past the vegan bratwurst on his way down. And Lindner is doing a great job as leader of the opposition, but has forgotten that he is part of the government.

Meanwhile, the AfD is celebrating because this year it will finally be able to appoint the first mayor, the first district administrator and next year probably the first far-right prime minister. Well, we've all managed that well. And not even Germany's greatest orthopaedic surgeon, knee-fasting machine Thommy Gottschalk, wants to distract us from our gloom any longer.

The clamor for new elections is huge and usually only stops with a startled chuckle when someone presents a photo of Friedrich Merz with the words "This could be your new chancellor".

And so we end up looking forward to 2023, almost a little enamored, knowing that by mid-2024 it will already seem like the good old days. Whew.

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Source: www.stern.de

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