Partnership - Five Anti-Tips: How to Turn a Happy Relationship Into an Unhappy One
What is a happy relationship? A simple answer: for everyone something different. While some conduct their liaison with as few emotional roller coaster dips as possible, calm and harmonious, others need passionate turbulence, the drama. For some, dishes fly in the heat of an argument, for others there is only sunshine. Though no relationship is like another, there are still some behaviors that all can orient themselves by, which distinguish a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one. On the other hand, if someone wants to get rid of their Partner:
5 Tips for Couples Who Want to Lead (Un)happy Relationships
Avoid Difficult Conversations
The family budget is almost empty, but your spouse still manages to spend the money as if it grew on trees? Don't bring it up. Your girlfriend is just hanging around you lately? Don't dig deeper to find out why – it might improve things.
Happy couples face their problems head-on and engage in open, honest, and constructive conversations. According to the results of a long-term study by US researchers, carrying out conflicts not only benefits the relationship but also one's health. However, one should not force the conversation. If the other partner refuses to engage with words, it could make the situation even worse.
"When a partner wants to address conflicts while the other partner prefers to avoid them, both are unconsciously dissatisfied with how conflicts are handled. This can lead to stress in everyday life and, in the long term, negatively impact health," explained study leader Kyle Bourassa to the "Daily Mail".
Keep a Scorecard
Keep track of how often your partner does something nice for you and how often they annoy you. No flower on Valentine's Day? Minus point. The car is borrowed with an empty tank and returned? Minus point. After all, one should know if they are investing more in the relationship than the other, right? If you want to lead an unhappy relationship, keep the scorecard.
The truth is, people who love each other want nothing but good things for their partner. They do nice things for each other freely and without being asked. They bring a cup of coffee over or massage away the tension from a hard-working day – not because it's expected, but because they care. And certainly not with the expectation that the other will return the favor.
However, if there is an actual imbalance, couples should talk about it openly. As family therapist Nancy Glisoni explained in the stern interview: "If the communication in the relationship is poor, a kind of emotional chasm forms. If the emotional connection is lost, the partner can sit on the couch next to you and still feel lonely."
Spy
If your sweetheart is constantly hanging out on their smartphone and writing messages to the "colleague," it might be better to convince yourself that the colleague is not really a colleague but a lover. Just take the phone and... [
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If a person wants to lose their partner, is snooping around a good way to get there – since invading someone's privacy is a boundary violation and a breach of trust? In a stable relationship, trust should prevail and the feeling that the other is hiding something or deceiving should not even arise. "Snooping around constantly can be fatal for a relationship," says couples therapist Alexandra Hartmann in "Focus". And: "If I have a good basic trust, I don't get there as quickly when I'm an insecure person from the start."
Building a relationship on lies is like laying a foundation on sand. Lies
Leading relationships is not an easy task. Have you secretly smoked, even though you promised your significant other you would stop? It's better to deny it and lie, than to let lengthy discussions about yourself ensue!
People in happy relationships come out without lies. They see themselves as a team, pulling in the same direction, not as adversaries. Instead of making things up and lying disrespectfully in their partner's face, they stick to the truth and cultivate an authentic, open interaction with each other.
"Building a relationship on lies is like laying a foundation on sand," says therapist Britta Hochheimer. "Without sincerity, it's impossible to build a stable and lasting relationship. In order not to be forced to make such decisions, you should try from the start to communicate well and be honest with your partner about your own needs and expectations."
As a given
At the beginning of a relationship, we show our chocolate side, woo the object of desire. But once we have won someone over, we don't have to do anything, we can just let the relationship float along in front of us.
One can do that. But if you still want to call your partner your partner for a while, you should let them be. No significant other, no significant other is ever self-evident part of our lives, they should not be treated as a given. Relationships are not self-runners, emphasizes sexual and couples therapist Dr. Heike Melzer in conversation with the stern. If you want the relationship to last, you have to do something for it, "from the first day and even after years".
- Despite varying preferences for relationship suitability, such as turbulent passion or calm harmony, all healthy relationships prioritize open and constructive communication, as highlighted by a long-term study by US researchers.
- If you're aiming for an unhappy relationship, avoid engaging in difficult conversations with your partner, like discussing financial issues or addressing changes in their behavior, as these can lead to improved relationships and health, according to the study.
- Entertaining delusions about your partner's actions, like assuming they're spending time with a colleague when they're actually in love, can lead to mistrust, invading privacy, and deteriorating the relationship, which is considered destructive behavior in a partnership.
