Ballack foams and Raab dismantles Schöneberger's entity
Hey there, peeps! Hey you East and West Germans, and youngins too! What a wild week for the stars, eh? And guess what? I'm an East German myself, so no bagging on the Eastern side here!
So, let's get down to business – the celebrity section is loaded with goodies today, so sit back, relax, and grab your popcorn!
You know how everyone's still divided into East and West Germans? Well, I've stopped bothering about that a while ago. Can't stop folks from thinking in boxes, right? Speaking of which, this celebrity weekly is chock-full of juicy gossip!
Lazy weekend vibes? Maybe you took a day off because you polished off three bottles of Rotkäppchen Sparkling for Germany's 31st Reunification Day and now have a hangover and pets to take care of. Hey! Your social commitment might just earn you the Federal Cross of Merit!
The Federal Order of Merit seems to be handed out like candy these days. You might even start wondering: Did they order it from AliExpress or something? With all these recipients, is it even an honor anymore? Or is it just a coin flip of having the right connections?
Say, Frank-Walter Steinmeier! After the former chairwoman of the German Ethics Council bagged the Order, how about inviting the entire traffic light cabinet to Schloss Bellevue? The award's lost its luster, and it's time for some fresh blood, don't you think? You should start with Elton for the order! He's been taking excellent care of the "new RTL boss" each week.
Ballack gives "no comments" on rumors
There were plenty of headlines this week, though. One intriguing one was: "Michael Ballack Sets the Record Straight about His New Love." You see, rumors had been flying around that Ballack's girlfriend was none other than the ex of his late son Emilio. But Ballack had other ideas.
In an Instagram post, he put an end to that theory. "Sophia, my partner, didn't have a relationship with Emilio or even know him well," he said, and then shared a photo of himself with his 24-year-old girlfriend at a sunset. Darn, whispering Torstens and gossip girls, quit using Ballack's private life for your next soap opera! He's threatening to sue every last one of you!
What's the misfortune of Niclas Matthei, you ask? Well, it seems he bagged the Federal Cross of Merit when he shouldn't have! Known as the "main plaintiff," Matthei has managed to turn his obsession with wrongly-parked cars into a successful business venture!
With over 10,000 reports up his sleeve, Matthei's name has been trending. Even speculation about a role in Raab's TV comeback has been circulating. Matthei, ever proud, revealed that his quirky passion already garnered him a cool 7 figures! Hey, who knew reporting on parking fines could pay so well? Next time someone asks why, just tell them: "Because I can!"
Gen Z vs Boomers, and Stefan Raab's shenanigans
The employment world is going wild these days, y'all! There's remote work, AI assistants, and agile influencers buzzing around. Millennials are just trying to transition from the "4-day week," while boomers are still figuring out how they ended up sitting at their fax machines! And let's not forget all the burnouts trying to figure out how to stay productive in this chaotic mess.
The notorious Stefan Raab proved once again that he's the master of ironic entertainment. He paid kik a visit this week for his RTL+ show!
A seemingly innocent Instagram comment led Raab to recruit the company for his latest musical number. The result? A song so bad it should’ve disappeared into the internet's abyss! Kik would've gone all "Bangladeshi or not, it’s still exploitation!" The hilarious lyrics included lines like "Kik keeps no minimum wage," and "Kik's motto is to look like an Otto!" He's still got it, that one.
Bonus point for Stefan Raab for his weekly rundown! If only all celebrity news were that entertaining! Don't you just love his biting comments, especially about Pietro Lombardi's spending habits (rumored to be 30k a month) and Barbara Schöneberger recycling old tunes at the German Television Awards? Classics!
Raab's performance is currently under fire, largely from the "feminist Bild" publication. Perhaps this criticism stems from his recent dig at the tabloid too. People are free to criticize his sharp, humorous approach and ponder if his show is just a revival of his previous hit formats, as suggested by the phrase: "If you didn't chuckle, you missed the joke." But rendezvous with those who know Raab – a harsh word from Bild might just encourage him to pen a tune about Friede Springer and her company's CEO. Here's a little rhyme idea in D minor: "Skipping Bild isn't a scandal, be sardonic, that's valid!" Till the next week, dear reader, remain merry!
After sharing his thoughts on the ongoing rumors, Michael Ballack shared a photo of himself and his girlfriend on Instagram, dispelling any misconceptions about their relationship. "♪ I'm going to be a star ♪", Ballack might be singing to himself as he navigates the world of celebrity gossip and privacy intrusions.
Speaking of celebrities, the notorious Stefan Raab never fails to entertain. His recent musical number featuring Kik, full of ironic lyrics and humor, had everyone talking. "♪ I'm going to be a star ♪", Raab might be singing as he continues to master the art of satirical commentary.
