Involuntarily single - 17 reasons why some people can't find a partner
Not every person who is Single wants to change this status. However, many are eagerly seeking a partner, yet it simply doesn't work out. Why? Researchers from Greece, Menelaos Apostolou and Elli Michaelidou, have taken on this problem. They identified 17 factors that can make or break partner seeking.
The relatively high occurrence of involuntary Singleness raises the question of its causes, the researchers note. For their study, they surveyed 1432 people, 734 women (average age 35) and 698 men (average age 39). The group included both those who were reluctant and those who were single by choice or circumstance.
The study asked about the impact of 17 different traits and characteristics – which ones are important for dating success and which are not. They are:
- Compatibility
- Body-Mass-Index (BMI)
- Ability to recognize flirt attempts
- Selectiveness
- Conscientiousness
- Talkativeness
- Flirtability
- Sexual openness
- Emotional control
- Openness
- Self-worth
- Perceived partner value
- Sexual function ability
- Shyness
- Self-deprecating attractiveness
- Sexual orientation
- Children from previous relationships
The study explored the relationship between these factors and involuntary Singleness. This is not the first study to tackle the mismatch problem – the paradox being that societies with relatively free partner choice have a high percentage of involuntary singles. The approach of Menelaos Apostolou and Elli Michaelidou is innovative because they question a range of factors and examine their correlations. The results of the analysis show that there are significant factors that increase the likelihood of remaining Single and wanting a partner but not finding one. However, these factors differ for men and women.
Women and Men Remain Single for Different Reasons
The results: No single factor dooms one to a state of involuntary Singleness. It's only when certain traits come together that it becomes challenging. Poor flirtability is a negative factor for both men and women. This is not surprising, as flirting is a crucial skill, lacking which initial contact is impossible. For women, it becomes hopeless when, in addition to poor flirtability, there is a cluster of low flirtability, sexual closedness, selectiveness in partner choice, and low compatibility. Then, a long Single life is almost inevitable.
Poor flirt techniques are also a negative factor for men. However, they form a different negative cluster for men. For them, these traits are: low emotional control, low self-worth. Additionally, an elevated Body-Mass-Index (BMI) and impaired sexual function ability are part of the minus cluster for men.
A result is the same for both genders: Good flirt techniques are a must. However, they are just a starting point. Those seeking a partner should also be aware of and address other negative factors if they want to find a partner.
- The researchers in Greece, specifically Menelaos Apostolou and Elli Michaelidou, found that poor flirtability is a common factor contributing to involuntary Singleness, as it makes initial contact difficult for both men and women.
- The study conducted by Apostolou and Michaelidou revealed that for women, poor flirtability combined with sexual closedness, selectiveness in partner choice, and low compatibility significantly increases the likelihood of a long Single life.
- Apart from the importance of good flirt techniques, men seeking a partner should also be conscious of negative factors such as low emotional control, low self-worth, and an elevated Body-Mass-Index (BMI), which were identified as hindering factors in the study.
