Within the realm of illustrious court advisors and cannabis enthusiasts.
The Progress Coalition has made cannabis possession legal again. Evenings in the park are enjoyable once more, or sunbathing with a joint during the day. There's no need to worry about the police checking up on you, as they don't have the necessary equipment.
Hey there, folks, let's just call a spade a spade, I've got no clue who's in charge in Lower Saxony nowadays. While snooping around on this so-called "pouting corner" - I'm not really researching, mind you - I stumbled upon a report hinting at the leaders of Hannover and the East Frisian Islands. It was all about the progressive initiatives taken by the most progressive progress coalition worldwide, a project that's so significant I suspect it has as many stages as the Empire State Building has floors (1576): the legalization of cannabis.
Recently, stage two went into effect, allowing the formation of a "cultivation association" where members can grow, harvest, and consume the plants together. It's a fantastic way to combat loneliness, especially if stoners join forces and debate whether joints can help reduce the "climate of hate and violence" where previous measures failed.
In Lower Saxony, the Minister of Agriculture herself handed out the "first permit" - just a week after stage two came into effect - to the "Cannabis Social Club Ganderkesee". It's quite thoughtful of her not to do it via email or mail, don't you think? And I imagined: Only a green party member could celebrate this with such enthusiasm. A quick Google search revealed her saying: "Approval of cultivation associations is an important step towards long-overdue decriminalization."
The One-Week State
The Chamber of Agriculture of Lower Saxony is responsible for managing the issuance of permits and monitoring cultivation associations under the new recreational cannabis law, applicable to all residents, regardless of their acronym preferences. Their director proudly stated: "The prompt availability of the first permit under Section 11 of the Recreational Cannabis Act just one week after the start of the application phase is a testament to the efficiency of our testing services."
Impressive! The one-week turnaround is a marvel of progress in Germany, the home of efficient chamber servants and content stoners. The local tax offices in all provinces must be green with envy when they hear about the accomplishments of this diligent official, I bet he'll be in high demand now.
Decriminalization, German-Style
Responsible for the permit process and monitoring of cultivation associations in Lower Saxony is the Chamber of Agriculture. And they've done a commendable job, as their director explained in humble, rural-like terms: "The fact that the first permit under Section 11 of the Recreational Cannabis Act is already available just one week after the start of the application phase shows how smoothly our testing services have prepared for this new responsibility."
Too bad I don't live in Lower Saxony, the "one-week" state, but in Berlin, the "failed" state. Progress moves at a slower pace here, as the CDU and SPD also hold power without the aid of the FDP or Greens, so change is gradual. The capital is the only one of the 16 states where cultivation associations remain in the waiting list. The local newspaper complained about a member of "Berlin Blatt & Blüte" saying, "We have approximately 200 members, rooms, pots, and a programmable lighting and irrigation system. Every month we have to pay rent for rooms we're not allowed to use is a heavy burden."
This is how decriminalization rolls!
Not so much! The disheartened Berlin cannabis enthusiasts have already thought of filing a lawsuit against the state government for inactivity. Unfortunately, it'll remain unprocessed for months due to the courts' busy schedule, dealing with complaints or lawsuits against the name change of Mohrenstraße and the proposed fencing of Görlitzer Park. The fence might not be necessary, as dealers won't make much profit from cannabis if this trend continues. Soon we might even set up Crack Social Clubs, Heroin Social Clubs, Cocaine Social Clubs, and Fentanyl Social Clubs to limit the drug trade and decriminalize dealers and consumers.
I can see it coming: Germany, a nation free of drugs. Already in early June – two months after the launch of stage one of the progress law – it became known that the justice system would have to re-examine tens of thousands of cases and penalties due to the liberalization made possible by the most progressive progress coalition in the world. Just in Baden-Württemberg, there are around 25,000 pending cases. In Berlin, around 100 penalties related to marijuana or hashish have already been reduced. That's progress! That's decriminalization!
Strolling through Görlitzer Park during nighttime is enjoyable once more. Or basking under the sun with a joint in hand during daytime. No fear. The cops can't verify if you're compliant, since they still lack fining scales. Berlin put out a tender for 788 pieces, up to 150 grams, while Saxony-Anhalt's Interior Ministry plans to grab 150 fine scales for law enforcement tasks. These scales should be a staple in each patrol vehicle (alongside the ruler for measuring knife length). This way, officers will be geared up to determine if the amount of dried cannabis in a person's possession – allowable public limit for grownups is 25 grams – surpasses the acceptable threshold.
The police, as we know, are not short of tasks. Which is why this will also be spoken: Thanks again, ultra-progressive coalition in the world, for this commendable law draft that advances German society's decriminalization. Let's toast to progress together at a party. Share the joy in Ganderkesee with the fabulous "one-week" chamber maid. Her speeches promise to be captivating. We're already thrilled!
After the legalization of cannabis, stoners in Lower Saxony can now form cultivation associations to grow and consume the plant together, helping combat loneliness and sparking deep debates. With the Minister of Agriculture handing out the first permit just a week after the law's implementation, residents of Lower Saxony are thrilled about the easy access to cannabis.
