What divides and unites generations when chatting

Society - What divides and unites generations when chatting

"Dad, we know that YOU write to us!" - Berlin adult education teacher Thorsten Wallnig (56) hears this time and again from his own children. Because he likes to say goodbye in Messenger conversations with the words "Best regards, your dad".

For him, it's somehow part of polite interaction, even if chat programs are perhaps intended more for casual and quick communication. "Everyone is allowed to keep their personal idiosyncrasies," says Wallnig in an interview with Deutsche Presse-Agentur.

How you chat also depends on your age. This has something to do with different learned habits, explains Tobias Dienlin, a communication scientist at the University of Vienna. A YouGov survey commissioned by dpa revealed that although there are clear trends depending on age, there are no clear generational dividing lines.

VHS teacher Wallnig, who has been teaching adults for more than 30 years, including twelve years to senior citizens over 80, is well aware of this. His inquisitive lifelong learners, who attend his "Whatsapp and Co." courses, have also learned to adapt to the etiquette of texting: "They often leave out the greeting at the front and back because they've got used to it," says Wallnig.

Chatting should be practical

According to Tobias Dienlin, chat programs were originally a youth phenomenon and the conversations in them were more colloquial. They were designed for quick exchange and practicality, not formal correctness. "Messenger communication is ongoing," says Dienlin, "Younger people often communicate more briefly and openly."

This is also confirmed by a representative YouGov survey commissioned by dpa. According to the survey, only 22% of the youngest respondents (18-24) in Germany say hello and goodbye when talking to their peers. Of respondents over the age of 55, 59 percent do so. The age groups in between also suggest this: The older a person is, the more likely they are to consciously start and end a conversation. Similarly, the complete absence of greetings and goodbyes is highest among the youngest group at 34 percent, compared to just 15 percent of the over-55 group.

It has something to do with their own experiences

What the generation that grew up with cell phones and the internet sees as a kind of continuous digital connection, Dienlin describes as "islands of communication" for older people. "Senior citizens, for example, are familiar with letters and the telephone - communication is more closed and longer." The expectations of communication are therefore transferred from the previously familiar form of conversation to digital.

This also results in other possible differences in the way conversations are conducted. However, differences in punctuation, capitalization and the use of emojis can often also be observed in everyday life. "The perception is often that younger people can no longer express themselves properly. That young people are worse than the generation before them has been true since the time of Socrates," quips the communications researcher from the University of Vienna.

Emojis are very popular

Take emojis, for example: the small symbols can bring feelings or moods into a text that might not be conveyed by words alone. "They didn't used to appear in the traditional written form - they are therefore often perceived as deficient communication," says Dienlin. However, emojis also represent a kind of culture - using them correctly has to be learned. Who would have thought that a peach or eggplant emoji could be used mostly in sexual contexts?

According to YouGov, only a small minority (4%) across all age groups do not use emojis at all. On the other hand, 26% of all respondents say that they "almost always" use emojis and 32% say they "usually" use them in text messages. So they certainly seem to be popular. However, a look at the different age groups also reveals that 43% of all 25 to 34-year-olds use emojis "almost always" - whereas only 18% of the over 55s say this about themselves.

Language is adapted to the other person

So there do seem to be a few differences. However, according to YouGov, it is also true that more than half (54%) of all respondents generally make an effort to adapt their own language when dealing with older or younger people. However, this mostly seems to come from younger people: 83 percent of the youngest age group (18-24) and around three quarters of 25-34-year-olds claim that their way of communicating changes when talking to other generations. By contrast, only 36% of the oldest group (over 55s) say this.

Everyone has a goal

VHS teacher Wallnig knows from practical experience that his students, many of whom are over 80 years old, do not see any differences between themselves and other generations in this area, "there may be the odd smile". However, they mainly enjoy it because it allows them to stay in contact with their children and grandchildren more extensively. Viennese expert Dienlin also emphasizes this: above all, there is a need for a relationship on all sides, which a messenger can satisfy at a low threshold.

And according to Wallnig, this also applies to the youngest: "It's often the case that grandchildren are really happy when their grandma uses Messenger. But they think it's cool until they see the cat videos. There are always two sides to everything!"