Therapy goes beyond reclining on a couch and conversing. Discover five methods it can enhance happiness.
(CNN) - People often have negative ideas about therapy.
In old movies, it's portrayed with someone lying on a couch, talking to an emotionless, note-taking psychologist who never speaks. Some even joke about it by calling therapists 'shrinks', reminiscent of the old practice of reducing the head of a conquered enemy.
There's still a stigma surrounding therapy, making it difficult for some to acknowledge they see a therapist. It's often viewed as being weak or 'crazy', especially in certain professions.
When it comes to physical health, we don't hesitate to seek help for injuries like a broken bone or a burn. But why is it different for emotional health?
Therapist Lori Gottlieb recently talked to CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta on his podcast, Chasing Life, and mentioned, "People don't come to therapy until they're having the equivalent of an emotional heart attack." She's the author of 'Maybe You Should Talk to Someone', cohost of the 'Dear Therapists' podcast, and writer of The Atlantic's weekly 'Dear Therapist' advice column.
Gottlieb emphasized that we shouldn't prioritize pain in our physical health but ignore emotional problems. "We don't have this hierarchy of pain with our emotional health. We don't say, 'Oh, I fell down and broke my wrist, but I don't have stage 4 cancer, so I'm just going to let my wrist hang out and I'm not going to get a cast'."
The reluctance to talk about mental health is pretty common. According to a survey by the Pew Research Center, 31% of people said they'd be somewhat comfortable discussing their mental health with a therapist, while 18% said they'd be either not too or not at all.
There are several reasons people hesitate to approach therapy, such as its stigma, skepticism, time and cost. However, this hesitation extends to society at large.
Gottlieb pointed out a common misconception about therapy: "You're going to go in, you're going to download the problem of the week, and you're going to leave, and you're basically just complaining and getting validated for your complaints." But that's not what therapy is about. "We like to say that insight is the booby prize of therapy," she explained. "You can have all the insight in the world, but if you don't make changes in your life, the insight is useless."
She added that most therapy happens between sessions, where you apply what you've learned and make changes.
"Do they experience joy more? Yes. Are they generally more content in their lives? Do they feel less stressed, less sad, more able to manage when things don't go well, less reactive when they're in a challenging relationship situation? Yes," Gottlieb said. "That shouldn't be underestimated. I think when people say, 'I just want to be happy', all of those things bring you happiness."
You can listen to the full episode here.
Here are five ways therapy can improve your happiness, according to Gottlieb:
- Therapy provides a unique perspective: It's like getting a second opinion on your life from someone not involved in your life. Friends might validate your feelings, but therapists offer 'wise compassion', helping you see your role in conflicts objectively.
- Therapy offers a safe space: You can explore various topics, like satisfaction or life goals, which may be challenging to discuss with close family or friends.
- Therapy gives you structure: Breaking down problems into manageable pieces with specific goals is much more effective than only thinking about your issues generally.
- Therapy can help you become a better detective: It teaches you how to identify patterns in your thoughts, emotions, and behavior, allowing you to rewire your brain and develop more useful ways of handling problems.
- Therapy can extend further than just your sessions: By applying what you learn in therapy, you can see lasting change in your life and be happier overall.
- For more by Gottlieb, listen to the full episode here.
Every so often, individuals might believe that with a roof over their heads and food on the table, they're not authorized to discuss the topic of purpose and fulfillment. However, in therapy, you have a safe environment to ask the tough inquiries, where nobody is judging you or pressuring you to believe you've got enough already.
In the contemporary era, loneliness has become a widespread issue, and the epidemic was worsened by the pandemic. Therapy may be the bridge connecting people to form meaningful relationships.
"We possess an epidemic of loneliness," Gottlieb remarked. "And I think many people wish for deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, but they're unsure of how to achieve it. We have specific concepts of what relationships and friendships resemble, but we may not always be consciously aware of the ways we could be hindering ourselves from forming more significant connections."
One instance could involve avoiding conflicts, searching out conflicts, or having social anxiety and lacking the necessary social skills. Consequently, people may struggle to reach out even if they desire to. Gottlieb stated that in therapy, you learn how to build connections that significantly contribute to your happiness.
Additionally, it's crucial to understand that we're part of larger forces and not just individuals who developed with no outside influences.
"We frequently feel that the issues are 'out there' - we don't truly realize that we are part of that dynamic, part of that dance," Gottlieb observed. "It aids in processing any unfinished business."
Furthermore, it is important to recognize that our parents were human beings who learned from their own parents. "It's a location where you can question, 'What are some of the items I'm carrying around that I'm unconscious of?'" she added, emphasizing that once you recognize how history affects your conduct in the world, you could alter those patterns, freeing you from carrying the burden of events that transpired ages ago.
Therapy enables us to comprehend and control our life's narrative.
"When we think about our lives, they're truly stories," Gottlieb mentioned. "It helps you to clarify your story and take control of your tale. If I'm creating this one limited time that I have here - this one life I have here - why am I letting others dictate my story instead of taking ownership of my story?"
We trust these five insights provide you with a clearer perspective on the advantages of therapy. For further details, tune into the entire episode, and next week on Chasing Life, stay tuned for a report on the evolving bird flu situation in the country.
CNN Audio's Jennifer Lai contributed to this report.
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Therapy can also contribute to overall wellness by offering strategies for managing stress and improving mental health. For instance, mindfulness-based stress reduction techniques learned in therapy can help individuals cope with daily pressures and promote better sleep.
Moreover, therapy can be instrumental in cultivating a more positive self-image and self-compassion, which are crucial components of wellness. By addressing negative thoughts and patterns, individuals can develop healthier relationships with themselves and others.
