The first kiss can decide everything
Passionate, tender, hesitant or even a little clumsy: The first kiss is an unforgettable moment for many people. But what happens then? And why is the first kiss so important?
Couples in love enjoy it regularly, singles often long for it, and some people have never experienced it: Kisses are an expression of deep affection and connection in many cultures. The first kiss remains unforgettable for many.
Whether passionate with the tongue or tender with the lips - most Germans experience their first kiss in their youth. According to the German Federal Centre for Health Education, the proportion of adolescents aged 14 to 17 who reported having had a kiss is around 75 percent. But what really happens during the first kiss?
"Explosion of the Senses"
Intense kissing with someone you like triggers a physical firework, explains cultural scientist Tina Bremer-Olszewski from Hamburg, who dealt with this topic in her book "First Love". Regardless of whether it's the first or hundredth time: "Hormones like adrenaline and dopamine are released through the roof." Oxytocin, also known as the bonding or cuddle hormone, is released during this intimate moment and triggers a pleasant feeling.
With the very first romantic kiss, we enter a new world, explains she. This touch on the mouth often leaves a lasting impression. "It's the first intimate moment you experience outside of your family." It leaves a lasting impression.
Berlin psychotherapist and author Wolfgang Krüger speaks of an explosion of the senses: "Kissing is the most intimate form of erotic approach available to us." In his opinion, kissing is more intense than all other forms of sexual intimacy.
Better than Sex?
When you touch the lips of another person for the first time romantically, the feelings can be particularly strong, he emphasizes. "You're overwhelmed inside." The first kiss can release something "infinitely exciting". Some even claim that kissing is more intense than sex. That's a matter of opinion, says Bremer-Olszewski. For some, lip contact is more intimate because it is the first step in an emotional and also physical connection. Others find it less important and prefer sexual intercourse, she explains. The first kiss is often just the beginning of a romance and can mean a lot in new relationships. In longer relationships, sex can take on a greater significance.
Biological Compatibility Test or Personality Test?
The first kiss between two people may not turn out as beautiful as hoped for, says Bremer-Olszewski. If it's about technique, you can work on it together and practice. If that doesn't help, you might want to think about whether someone else might suit you better. Every first intimacy is also a biological compatibility test. After all, as the saying goes: "Do we fit together?"
The Reason: When kissing, one gets closer than hardly ever before, explains the cultural scientist. Through smell and taste, one can examine the potential partner during the lip play in great detail. If one cannot smell well then, that is usually not a rosy sign. Kisses decide therefore how it goes with the romance.
With bad kissers, many cannot even get into a relationship, says psychotherapist Krüger. And it's not about the acrobatics of the tongue: To become a good kissing partner, one needs personality, he explains. To the lip touch belong many properties, for example social competence. "But also, that one is able to listen and respond to the other physically." That must be learned. Proper good kissing at the very first meeting is therefore rather rare in his opinion.
The first kiss can wait
Even if it doesn't come to the "Perfect Match" right away: Don't give up hope! "With time or with another person comes also the right kiss, which is wonderful," is sure of Bremer-Olszewski. The hope for beautiful intimacy should therefore not be given up too early. That also sees Krüger so: It's best to keep looking until one has found someone who can kiss halfway decently.
When one meets a person one would like to kiss, one should really not force anything, emphasizes Bremer-Olszewski. Even if it's not the very first lip play, both partners must be in agreement. Cautious ones could ask carefully if the other is ready for the intimate closeness. Important: "If the situation is not clear, it's better to wait a little longer."
- Discussions about sexuality and its expression are often universal topics among youth, women, and men around the world.
- The exploration of sexuality and relationships can significantly impact the self-confidence and empowerment of women in various international contexts.
- Cultural norms and attitudes towards first kisses can vary greatly among different nations, offering unique insights into international perspectives on intimacy and connection.
