Optimism Can Be Learned
If you work in a newsroom, the world's misery follows you. You can't escape it: Trump, Putin, Netanyahu, natural disasters, missing children, highway accidents, nasty reader emails. So why is my glass always half full?
What doesn't help: Listening to "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" (but now you've got a catchy Monty Python tune stuck in your head), I can offer an alternative with Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" (whistle) or Pharrell Williams' "(Because I'm) Happy". I must admit, that's horrifying, it doesn't make me happy to hear these songs. Yet, music naturally makes people happy! Even singing loudly would be a measure.
Or the forest, the sea, the mountains, nature itself makes people happy. Some people are happy because they have children, others because they don't. Some are married to their work, others enjoy being single. Some find happiness everywhere and travel often, others prefer their own four walls. Some people need others, some are content alone. Happiness is so individual. But what to do when you're on a losing streak? When happiness doesn't want to return? People often blame others or "circumstances". But YOU are responsible for your own happiness, optimism, and hope!!! Chakka!!
Happiness is like a virus*
A colleague once said that you just have to "clench your buttocks" to get through it. You could try that, but I doubt the result. What might help more is a smile. Just smile at the supermarket cashier. If they don't smile back, keep going. Smile at strangers in the elevator. Say something: "nice dress", or "you look well-rested!" I know, it's hard when the other person just stares back blankly. But don't give up! Happiness is like a virus!!
Recently, a stranger man put my suitcase on the train at the station. He was so quick, I couldn't protest, but I said: "That's really kind, thanks". He replied that it was nothing. I asked if I looked so frail that I couldn't get my suitcase into the train alone, but we both laughed, and he said something like: "You women don't know when something is just nice, do you?" He had a point, even if I found the remark a bit macho. Anyway, I waited for a man to carry my suitcase out of the train when I got off. No luck. Too bad, I went all the way to Spandau instead of getting off at Südkreuz.
Why is she talking to me?
Anyway, that didn't dampen my spirits. Yes, sometimes it's hard to stay optimistic, you could be disappointed. And as a pessimist, I'm proven right much more often. "Of course, no one to help me carry the suitcase out of the train", the pessimist would say, and push the suitcase out to sulkily wait for a bus that's out of service for six weeks. The optimist orders a taxi - the pessimist finds it too expensive. The optimist thinks: "Water under the bridge, the taxi driver shouldn't live like a dog either" and gives a tip, just because the taxi driver was there, and the bus wasn't.
And while the optimist is already home preparing a delicious salad, the pessimist is robbed on the way to the nearest bus stop and can't even afford a currywurst with a bun. Finally home, he thinks to himself that this was a truly shitty day, even though he was on vacation. With an empty stomach, he just manages to cancel his cards at the bank and then falls into a restless, unrefreshing sleep.
The next morning at work, a woman in the elevator says to him, "You look great, so tanned." The pessimist is taken aback, why is she talking to him, he thinks, why is she annoying him with her damn good mood?
It'll all work out ...
You've guessed it - it's up to you how the day goes. If you're reading these lines and wondering if you should become an optimist, but don't dare to, then quickly try it out: Ask yourself if you even want to become an optimist. If yes - be active and expect setbacks. Accept them. Start in small steps. So think optimistically first, before you act (could go wrong, see elevator). And whether you're then ready to write an optimism diary, as recommended by many coaches ("I'm grateful for ...", "What annoyed me today was ..."), that's really up to you. It would annoy me. You don't have to become a perfect optimist right away!
*Calendar sayings may not help much, but they do encourage reflection. That can't hurt.
Despite the constant barrage of misery in the news, The Community rallying together can bring moments of joy. For instance, a stranger helping you carry your suitcase can make your day.
In troubled times, turning to The Community for support can help shift your perspective and fosters a sense of optimism.
