"Nobody needs the bureaucracy of German registry offices"

Denmark attracts many wedding couples from Germany every year: with little bureaucracy and lots of atmosphere. Sandra Ellegiers and Tom Kaiser tell us whether the trip to say "I do" is worth it. They got married in Copenhagen City Hall at the end of 2023.

ntv.de: Congratulations - you're newly married and in record time!

Sandra Ellegiers: You could say that. At the end of August we decided to get married without any fuss, and in mid-November the time had come. You can only do that in Denmark!

Tom Kaiser: In Bonn, where I live, and in Berlin, where Sandra lives, we would have had to wait until at least next April.

Now you're a bit older - over 50, if we may say so. Why did it come down to a few months?

Sandra: Because we just felt like it and that's our attitude to life. We met in 2022 and feel we were made for each other. So we wanted to start the next year as a couple. In Germany, you have to wait months for an appointment and go through more than one administrative procedure. That doesn't have much to do with love and romance.

Tom: What annoyed us here, apart from the long waiting times, was the paperwork and the bureaucratic fuss, if you get an answer at all. My wife had applied for a registration certificate at the district office but heard nothing, even after several emails and phone calls. In the end, she went there in person. We still don't know whether our emails were received.

What brought you to Denmark?

Tom: During a late-night phone call, we remembered friends who got married there years ago. They were happy. I then did some research online and quickly found out how it works: you have to present copies of your IDs and submit an application so that the Danish authorities can issue a certificate of no impediment to marriage. After just five days, we received a positive response, in other words the green light. It was clear then: this is how we'll get on!

Sandra: An authority with big red hearts in its emails. That's totally unusual at first. And totally cheesy - but also warm in the truest sense of the word.

But you can't do without paperwork in Denmark either.

Tom: That's true - but in moderation. We only needed the so-called "extended registration certificate" to prove our marital status. It costs 9 euros in Bonn and 10 in Berlin. We didn't need a banns, nor a German certificate of no impediment to marriage, and certainly not a current birth certificate from the birth register of the place of birth, as is required in Germany.

Sandra: We had the most work to do with the Danish marriage application I mentioned earlier. About an hour, to be precise. Even in German, online and self-explanatory. The first application that I enjoyed.

But you also had to prove that your relationship wasn't fake, but real. If that's not bureaucratic!

Tom: That really came as a bit of a surprise, but given the number of fake marriages, it's probably necessary.

How did you prove your love?

Tom: With pictures from vacations and from home with our families. But also with my parking permit in Berlin. Plus the story of how we met in prose.

Doesn't that make you blush?

Sandra: You can't compete in Denmark anonymously and without your own story.

It could still be fake ...

Sandra: ... Of course everything could be faked. We even know of a case. It was about a right of residence in the EU. But that's not our problem. We are EU citizens, a fictitious marriage would not bring us any advantages.

Have you also thought about getting married in other EU countries?

Tom: Hardly. Denmark has a historic agreement with Germany. No so-called apostille is required for Danish documents. This was supposedly agreed at some point during the Nazi era. And it still applies today.

Would you describe yourselves as German bureaucratic refugees?

Tom and Sandra: Yes!

Sandra: And on our "escape" we experienced something wonderful: a very friendly and warm ceremony in Copenhagen's old town hall - even though it was uncomfortably cold and raining outside.

The Danes call that "hygge".

Sandra: Exactly! I hadn't expected that. I had the sober Danish design in mind and expected a certain cultivated sobriety. Our whole plan was rather pragmatic at the beginning. What we received were not only warm emails, but also warm people. Civil servants with the right feel for the situation.

Tom: Even as witnesses!

The registry office in Copenhagen provided witnesses - you didn't have any of your own with you?

Sandra: We wanted to keep it as simple as possible and without much fuss. We were offered witnesses in advance, which suited us. In hindsight, I would say that nobody needs the bureaucracy of German registry offices when you can get everything from a single source in Denmark - even the photographer!

Tom: Anne, who married us, works at the tourist office in the morning, which also serves as the wedding office. In the afternoon she is the registrar. Our two witnesses also work there. The maid of honor asked if she could take photos and videos with our cell phone. She was practically busy the whole time - at no extra charge and clearly not for the first time.

And how was Anne?

Sandra: She radiated calm and joy. She addressed us by our first names, escorted us to the wedding venue in front of a tree of life, an old mural in the wedding hall. There we stood on an old, magnificent carpet. It felt festive and it was a great atmosphere all round.

Tom: I would like to go even further: It felt like we were the most beautiful and only couple of the day!

That was definitely not the case. If you google "Denmark" and "getting married", you quickly get the impression that there is a wedding industry. With lots of agencies, busy schedules and expensive arrangements.

Sandra: The former is true. In hindsight, however, I would say that an agency is not necessary at all if you like it quick and private like we do.

Tom: The second is wrong, as our example shows: We got an appointment within a few weeks and were even allowed direct access to the registry office's online appointment calendar.

And how much did it all cost?

Sandra: The registration fee is just over 200 euros. The quick appointment too - but it wouldn't have been incurred for an appointment from January. So we spent just over 400 euros in total.

Tom: To be fair, it doesn't matter what you leave at the registry office: The really expensive things in Copenhagen come afterwards. A glass of crémant costs 18 euros. Restaurants and hotels are relatively expensive.

Was that part worth it?

Sandra: The food was excellent everywhere. And the elegant yet cozy hygge style is worth the money.

Tom: I think it was also worth it for the Danes: it was the first time we had been to their beautiful country - but certainly not the last.

Peter Littger spoke to young happiness