Loneliness: why it hits us particularly hard on public holidays

Rising case numbers - Loneliness: why it hits us particularly hard on public holidays - and what helps

Oh, you lonely one! Although Christmas has always been portrayed as a celebration of family and togetherness, many people spend the festive season alone. While some of them consciously choose to do so and enjoy being alone, others suffer from increasing loneliness.

Especially those who involuntarily have few social contacts suffer during the festive season, as Sandra Jankowski, a member of the Professional Association of German Psychologists, explains in an interview with RedaktionsNetzwerk Deutschland: "We depend on social contacts in order to develop and feel good. We need others." The need to belong is therefore deeply rooted in us.

However, this need is not fulfilled for many people if they spend the holidays alone. According to a recent survey, this applies to more than 2.4 million people in Germany alone. According to Dr. Hanne Horvarth, psychologist and founder of the online platform"HelloBetter", not all of them feel lonely: "Loneliness is not synonymous with being alone, but a subjective experience that is unpleasant and often painful," she says in an interview with"web.de".

Christmas between peer pressure and loneliness

According to the Loneliness Competence Network, which is funded by the German government, loneliness arises when personal needs and wishes are not fulfilled by existing social contacts. In other words, when someone would actually like to have more or different relationships than they have. Loneliness is therefore a feeling that can also arise in society if you surround yourself with the "wrong" people.

However, as the new year approaches, we are being fed ideas everywhere about what the perfect Christmas with family and New Year's Eve party with friends should look like. If you don't have a traditional family, no contact with them or don't have a large circle of friends for other reasons, you quickly realize the discrepancy between the social ideal and your own life.

And because, in evolutionary terms, we humans are adaptable herd animals, this can lead to unpleasant feelings. Horvath says:"Christmas is sometimes associated with heightened social expectations and social pressure. But if the reality is different, we can feel disappointed or lonely."

How much loneliness is normal?

Feeling lonely temporarily is nothing to worry about at first - but sometimes the feeling becomes chronic and becomes a daily companion for those affected. If it lasts longer than two weeks, it can not only lead to psychological problems such as depression, as various studies have shown. An unhealthy lifestyle and cardiovascular diseases are also associated with loneliness. People in transitional situations, i.e. after separations, career changes or relocations, as well as people under 30 and pensioners are particularly at risk.

However, according to a Forsa survey commissioned by Malteser International in 2021, people over the age of 75 suffer the most from loneliness. This is mainly due to the fact that older people are often dependent on help to change something about their isolation. If they do not receive this help, for example because they lack a social environment, then the path out of loneliness becomes all the more difficult. However, there are still far too few appropriate measures to integrate senior citizens back into social life.

What can help against loneliness

Loneliness has long since ceased to be a marginal phenomenon. It is no coincidence that one in four calls to the German Telephone Counseling Service this year was about loneliness, as Ludger Storch, Chairman of the nationwide Telephone Counseling Service Statistics Working Group, said in an interview with the German Press Agency: "Many callers report that they are having difficulties reconnecting with other people."

After years of the pandemic, many people have simply forgotten how to make new contacts or maintain their old friendships despite physical separation. The Patient Protection Foundation therefore also described loneliness as "the biggest widespread disease in Germany". And in order to combat it, each and every one of us is counted on.

Chairman Eugen Brysch told the German Press Agency: "Doing something about the growing loneliness in society cannot be left to institutional providers alone." It is important to take personal responsibility and have the "courage to speak out".

Courage and openness as a means to combat loneliness

Ultimately, as is so often the case in the fight against growing loneliness in the population, it is about looking out for each other. In addition to the federal government's nationwide initiative against loneliness and a wide range of contact points for lonely people, it can also help if we start to take a closer look around our neighborhood.

Perhaps there are people there who are spending the holidays alone - and who would appreciate a nice smile and a sincere "How are you?". The same also applies to those who feel lonely themselves. An open attitude towards other people is often the first step towards positive encounters. And who knows: with a little courage, maybe the new year will start with a new friendship.

Source: Federal Ministry for Family Affairs, Malteser Study, Loneliness Competence Network,

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Despite the festive atmosphere of Christmas, many individuals in Germany spend the holiday season feeling lonely, with over 2.4 million people reportedly experiencing this feeling. According to Sandra Jankowski, a member of the Professional Association of German Psychologists, this is due to our inherent need for social connections and a sense of belonging. The Federal Government has funded the Loneliness Competence Network to address this issue, recognizing that loneliness arises when personal needs and wishes are not met by existing social contacts.

Source: www.stern.de