- Guiding Effective Aid when a Dear One Experiences Hardship
Something's off. Normally, Marie was always buzzing with energy, dancing at every gathering, always planning the next escapade, and her laughter was so genuine it made everyone around her laugh too.
But that was before. Now things have changed.
She's becoming more reclusive, ditching plans spontaneously, and often too drained to socialize in the evenings. When she does show up, she still cracks jokes and laughs, but her eyes, now framed by dark circles, lack the usual spark.
Marie has transformed.
Her close friends have noticed the change too. They're concerned, suspecting she might be going through a depressive phase or dealing with other psychological issues. But they're silent, even when she talks about death. They want to help, genuinely, but they don't know how.
How do you ask a friend how they're truly feeling when they're laughing in your face?
How do you tell them they've lost their sparkle?
How do you express your concern without making things worse?
Delicate Dialogues and Self-Care
These are questions many of us grapple with, because most of us know someone like Marie. For some, it's not a friend, but a family member, a partner, a colleague, or even someone we love. Each year, about 2.8 million people in Germany alone are diagnosed with a mental illness - a trend that's on the rise. But it's not just the affected individuals who suffer. Often, their loved ones do too, feeling helpless.
That's exactly what the "Mental Health First Aid" (MHFA) organization is trying to address with a special program. In 2000, the initiative launched a first aid course for mental health. By 2019, similar courses were available in Germany. Over six million people worldwide have been trained as mental health first aiders since then. Instead of teaching the recovery position, the curriculum focuses on communication skills with people struggling with substance abuse, depression, or anxiety disorders, and self-care strategies.
You're not a therapist, of course. This course is more about learning how to approach those in need without getting sucked into their mental health struggles. Participants learn in small groups over several sessions how to talk to loved ones when they notice a change or see signs of negative feelings like emptiness or even suicidal thoughts. The goal is to bridge the gap between those affected and therapy, offering help and hope without adding pressure.
For this, the initiators have developed their own conversation approach, which they only share within the training. They call it the "Roger" principle. It's based on various communication concepts and psychological practices, emphasizing empathy and constructiveness towards those struggling.
Learning First Aid for Depression
Each course is led by a psychologist who also provides basic knowledge about common mental illnesses and self-care strategies for loved ones. They stress the importance of caring for ourselves while trying to help others. The leaders are sensitive to the participants, ensuring they're always comfortable during the often emotional topics. Both online and in-person options are available. If you ever feel overwhelmed, you can take a break in both cases.
Anyone can participate, as long as they're not currently going through a critical psychological phase themselves. So far, women and professionals dealing with related issues have made up the majority of participants. The demand for mental health first aiders is constantly growing, as both adults and children have seen a rise in mental health issues since the pandemic. Therapy options are limited, making it all the more important to have support within our own circles when we're losing it within ourselves.
Now, let's go back to Marie. Let's imagine her friends had taken the MHFA course as mental health first aiders. They would've found a quiet place and had a heart-to-heart with her, asking her how she's truly feeling, reflecting her words and body language, and expressing their concerns. They wouldn't have pressured her to seek help, instead providing her with information about depression treatment and resources. And finally, they would've shown her that they're there for her, without expectations or judgments, highlighting her resources to combat mental illness.
Yes, they would've offered her a gentle hand. Because they would've known what to say and do. And perhaps they could've helped her find her smile again.
Source: MHFA
In the context of Marie's change in behavior and her friends' concerns, the sentences could be:
Recognizing the signs of Marie's potential mental health struggles, her friends, having undergone the MHFA course, would approach her with empathy and constructiveness, applying the 'Roger' principle.
Equipped with the knowledge gained from the MHFA course, Marie's friends could offer resources for depression treatment and provide her with a supportive network, aiming to help her regain her sparkle and overcome her difficult phase.
