Compassionate attitudes are increasing among the youth. Discover strategies to foster your own empathy.
Over the past two decades, divide in opinions on various topics, as analyzed by Gallup, has either grown or remained stable. Some think that with the current social and political rifts, America is on the edge of a civil war.
However, this viewpoint differs from that of social psychologist Sara Konrath.
After observing a decrease in empathy among young people between 1979 and 2009, Konrath, head of the Interdisciplinary Program on Empathy and Altruism Research at the Indiana University Lilly Family School of Philanthropy, along with her coauthors, recently updated their research in an article published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.
Empathy is the capacity to recognize and share others' emotions, paired with the ability to comprehend another person's viewpoint. This trait isn't set in stone.
The study team discovered that young American college students (average age of 20 years old) and graduating high school seniors are exhibiting higher levels of perspective-taking and empathic concern compared to previous study years. Perspective-taking (a form of cognitive empathy) assesses individuals' ability to envision others' viewpoints, while empathic concern (a form of emotional empathy) evaluates compassion and concern for others. Data from 1979 to 2018 was utilized in the study, with the entire period being analyzed.
This rise in empathy can be hindered by our distrust of one another, according to Jamil Zaki, a professor of psychology at Stanford University and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab.
People often think that "their desire for a more empathetic community is theirs alone when others around them also seek the same thing," said Zaki, writer of "The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World." This misconception weakens interactions by forming biased perceptions before even commencing communication.
Despite Konrath finding empathy increasing among young Americans, other experts emphasize the importance of promoting more face-to-face interaction across age groups to cultivate empathy in our increasingly digital communication era.
Misconceptions make a difference
Often, people have an incorrect understanding of others' thoughts.
This is why "achieving a more accurate understanding of the people around us now can provide us with hope about constructing a better future together," Zaki stated.
For instance, many Americans believe in policies to protect the environment, yet they think it's a minority opinion.
These misconceptions can transform into self-fulfilling prophecies, noted Zaki, whose research at Stanford demonstrated this.
"Students who underestimated their peers' empathy were less inclined to start conversations with their classmates ... less willing to share their struggles and ended up feeling more isolated and disconnected over time," he said.
If we don't believe in others' capacity for empathy, "we are less likely to take a chance on them ... (and) we don't learn that we're wrong ... so we end up separated from each other's genuine warmth and kindness," Zaki highlighted.
Underestimating the empathy of others fuels disconnection and avoidance of those with whom we disagree. "People on both sides imagine that those on the other side are twice as hateful, twice as anti-democratic, and four times as violent as they truly are," Zaki said. "We're fighting illusions, not each other."
False perceptions of others' viewpoints also make people more likely to escalate conflicts, despite the fact that "conflict is highly disliked," Zaki said. "Essentially, we are driving ourselves into a cultural war that nobody really wants because we have no idea who we're fighting."
Deficit of face-to-face communication
We are biologically wired to need direct, in-person interaction with others, stated Dr. Edward Brodkin, associate professor of psychiatry at Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania and director of the adult autism spectrum program at Penn Medicine.
"That's the place where we can best connect with each other," added Brodkin, coauthor of "Missing Each Other: How to Cultivate Meaningful Connections."
Digital communication despite its benefits, occurs most effectively through these in-person conversations where you can begin to comprehend others' perspectives and feel their emotions, according to Brodkin. "Social media and the internet can distort the way we connect with each other, and the companies that monetize it can tilt it towards disconnection, polarization, hostility, and so on," he said.
"Empathy flourishes best face to face," when you can read someone's expressions and tone of voice, said sociologist Sherry Turkle, a professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and author of "Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age."
During polarized times, there can be a tendency to demonize the other side, which can intensify disconnection. "If people connected more and listened to each other, they would realize that these (examples of hateful rhetoric) are just the most extreme things," Brodkin said.
What can people do to enhance their understanding and compassion towards others? Brodkin and his co-author Ashley Pallathra propose a method involving four components, each building upon the previous skill: relaxed awareness, active listening, empathetic understanding, and mutual interaction.
Relaxed Awareness refers to the ability to remain conscious of oneself, the conversation partner, and the context of the conversation while maintaining a calm and composed state.
Active Listening involves fully engaging with the other person, not just absorbing their words but also taking note of nonverbal cues such as body language and tone. According to Brodkin, "It's about resonating with them to some extent, feeling some of the emotion coming from them."
Empathetic Understanding refers to making an effort to comprehend the root causes of someone's views and beliefs, their thought process and mindset. Brodkin clarifies that this does not mean agreeing with them, but rather seeing things from their point of view.
Mutual Interaction entails engaging with others, responding to their perspectives, and establishing a flow of conversation through attunement to each other.
Brodkin hopes that these techniques will enhance people's willingness to listen and view others with more compassion, potentially leading to collaboration and consensus. However, he acknowledges that this might not always be possible in situations where people are strongly opposed to certain values.
Turkle's guidelines for empathy include accepting uncertainty, embracing diversity, remaining committed, and fostering community. She also emphasizes the importance of letting go of the need to be right or triumph in a debate.
How does empathy contribute to our democracy?
Democratic institutions thrive on respectful debates and the sharing of various perspectives. As Turkle puts it, "Empathy is a democracy's job." At the end of an empathic interaction, individuals should not necessarily agree with each other, but rather be open to sharing common ground and finding a way to coexist peacefully within a democratic community.
Even if people hold opposing views, they can identify shared values and work towards common goals. For example, prioritizing children's safety may be a widely agreed-upon value, leading to efforts to create a safe environment for children to play in.
Engaging in empathetic discussions can make individuals more willing to listen and understand each other's perspectives, softening the tone of the dialogue and reducing the tendency to blame the other side.
As Zaki puts it, "The future is in our hands. And I think that we live in a cultural moment where, because of cynicism, we greatly underestimate the desire for empathy and connection. When we lose faith in each other, we also lose a clear vision of what future we could build together."
The findings of Konrath's study suggest a rise in empathy among young Americans, demonstrated through increased perspective-taking and empathic concern. This rise, however, can be hindered by our distrust of one another, as pointed out by Jamil Zaki.
Misconceptions about others' empathy levels can be detrimental, leading to less interaction, isolation, and disconnection. According to Zaki, if we believe in others' lack of empathy, we're less likely to engage with them and miss out on their genuine warmth and kindness.
