Viewpoint: A Debate Our Country's Democracy Should Witness
What a pickle we've gotten ourselves into!
It seems that the good ol' USA has forgotten how to converse with one another. From our social media feeds to family gatherings, town meetings, college campuses, and everywhere in between, we've replaced listening with lecturing. We shut down those who disagree with us instead of trying to open their minds to new perspectives.
For the sake of our families, communities, and democracy, it's about time we change the way we communicate. We all know this. Most Americans claim they want less hostility in our national discussions. But how do we accomplish this?
Being a speechwriter, I've spent nearly three decades pondering the language we use to talk to each other. I must admit that I've probably contributed to our divisions with my exaggerated rhetoric at times. I've even witnessed it within my own family. I'm a liberal who wrote speeches for President Barack Obama. My uncle Dan was a devout conservative who loathed Obama. Our discussions at Thanksgiving could get heated. More than once, I wish I had chosen my words more carefully.
We all need to make an effort.
That's why I reached out to the group that's bringing together an impressive array of Republicans, Democrats, and independents for what might be the largest debate watch party in the country. Braver Angels is one of the many grassroots organizations that have sprung up in recent years to bridge partisan gaps and debate issues, such as immigration and abortion, in a more civilized manner. They'll be doing just that at their national convention next week in Kenosha, Wisconsin — a swing state that could decide this year's presidential election.
In the spirit of this event, here are a few methods this year's candidates — and we, as Americans — can debate the issues while maintaining the civility we say we desire:
- Show some humility. We believe we've reached our political beliefs through reason and careful consideration of the facts. It's the opposition who's blinded by ideology, we contend. In reality, most of us inherit our politics — like our religious beliefs — from our parents. Conservative parents tend to raise conservative children; liberal parents tend to raise liberal children. When we remember that our politics are often a product of our environment — over which we have little control — perhaps we can all be a little less hasty in dismissing those with a differing worldview.
- Don't condemn if you want to persuade. By all means, oppose racism, sexism, and homophobia as they are abhorrent. However, if your goal is to change someone's view, refrain from labeling them a bigot. As Alana Conner, former executive director of Stanford University's Social Psychological Answers to Real-World Questions Center, put it, "Calling people racists, sexists, and xenophobes will get you nowhere." "One of the things we know from social psychology is when people feel threatened, they can't change, they can't listen."
- Avoid dehumanizing, demonizing, or marginalizing others. Politicians and media pundits love to speak in terms of "us" vs. "them." They label their opponents as "sinister," "wicked," "evil," or even denigrate them as "vermin," "animals," or "hordes." However, history shows us that dehumanizing language can lead to disastrous consequences — slavery, segregation, and the murder of more than six million Jews during the Holocaust. We all have a responsibility to reject hateful rhetoric that could result in harm or even death.
- Avoid “fighting” for your country. Politicians often tell us we need to "fight" for the future we want. While this used to be a metaphor, these days, it's all too real. In recent years, there have been hundreds of acts of political violence, including the January 6, 2021 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Nearly a quarter of Americans agree it might be necessary to "resort to violence" to "save" the country from their political opponents. When politically-motivated attacks are a clear and present danger, we would all be wise to steer clear of language that could be perceived as threatening or inciting violence.
- Connect on a human level. To persuade someone, steer clear of leading with statements like "As a Republican" or "As a Democrat." Most Americans don't identify with the labels we cherish, and the moment you invoke partisan politics, the other person may stop listening. Try connecting on a different, more human, level — "As a mother/father/person of faith/veteran/American, I believe..." When you remind people of the identity you have in common, they're more likely to listen to what you have to say.
- Remember the values we share. In the heat of debate, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that we still share many core values. Overwhelming majorities of Americans assert they support equal protection under the law, the right to vote, freedom of speech, the right to privacy, freedom of religion, the right to assemble peacefully, and freedom of the press. We're still united around basic principles like "honesty," "responsibility," and "freedom."
In a church basement in Virginia a few years back, a Braver Angels member commented after observing discussions among liberals and conservatives, "Despite our significant differences, I believe we're driven by common, fundamental principles." This sentiment is what I aspire to find during the presidential debate with fellow Americans in Wisconsin. The future of our nation, home to over 330 million people, is at stake – not just in the debates between the candidates on the stage, but in the discussions and debates we hold daily with our loved ones and neighbors. And we, as a nation, stand firm in our resolve.
As history tells us, during another period of division, President Abraham Lincoln emphasized, "We cannot physically separate. We should not be enemies. Even though emotions may exaggerate things, our bonds of affection should not be broken." Our American experiment will persist if we can summon "the best aspects of our human nature." Learning once more to communicate truthfully, empathetically, and respectfully is crucial for our democracy – a survival mechanism for which it yearns.
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Despite the varying opinions within our society, most Americans express a desire for less hostility in national discussions. To foster this change, it's crucial to approach debates with humility, recognizing that our political beliefs are often inherited and not solely based on reason. Furthermore, dehumanizing language can lead to harmful consequences, so it's essential to avoid such rhetoric to promote understanding and respect among differing viewpoints.
