Commentary: M mocking Trump's appearance exposes a disturbing fact.
Despite significant material for criticism, including convictions, Trump's appearance continues to be a target for comedians, cartoonists, and individuals who dislike him for political or ethical reasons. Making fun of his looks may bring humor, but it reinforces biases that contribute to the body image challenges faced by boys and men.
As a therapist working with families where their sons struggle with negative body image and eating disorders, I hear a lot of frustration from parents regarding the appearance pressure teenage boys face today.
According to Aaron Flores, a registered dietitian from Calabasas, California, who hosts the podcast "Men Unscripted," men experience body anxieties that are not signs of weakness or flaws, but rather "incredibly normal." Men's body anxieties have intensified as the ideal male physique has become more exaggerated and unattainable.
Stephen Reeder, a licensed professional clinical counselor and certified eating disorder specialist in Denver, warned that "we are doing a disservice to a younger generation of men by putting one body type on a pedestal and criticizing another." He also pointed out that the objectification and sexualization of men's bodies has dramatically increased in recent decades.
While a prominent figure may seem like a target for ridicule, there are unintended negative consequences. Reeder emphasized the damage done by mocking someone's physical appearance, especially when their body type is different from, say, Chris Hemsworth's: "We're essentially saying this one's bad, that one's good."
The perils of bullying the bully
Some people may argue that because Trump has a history of publicly bullying and body-shaming others, it's fair to subject him to the same treatment. Still, Flores and Reeder both cautioned against "bullying the bully." The innocent bystanders are the ones most hurt by such jokes, even if they're joining in with the laughter. As Flores pointed out, this creates a dangerous precedent: "If we use that rationale, our society is in a lot of trouble." They also stressed that the focus should remain on Trump's questionable character and policies instead of his physical appearance.
Body image goes beyond weight
Criticizing Trump for his weight is just one aspect of a broader issue related to men's body image. Discussing his hair and hand size exemplifies the focus on hypermasculinity – being strong, fit, and perceived as well-endowed. This can exacerbate insecurities for men struggling with aging and hair loss. Flores noted, "It's a very uncomfortable part of aging. There are a lot of ways to hide it instead of accepting it. Hair loss is a very sensitive, insecure place for a lot of folks."
Challenging our unconscious biases
If we find ourselves making fun of Trump's body, it could be an opportunity to examine the cultural messages we internalize and the biases we hold against certain body types. As Reeder explained, "These uncomfortable moments offer a chance to dissect our own views of gender and body image, and being able to, with a mindful eye, be honest with ourselves about our own biases."
When we feel passionate about opposing Trump's policies, it's easy to default to body-shaming, but Flores reminded us that "it's what people unfortunately have access to when they want to criticize someone without having much of an intellectual discussion about it."
Interrupting body-shaming without policing
For those who want to avoid body-shaming, it's possible to disrupt the status quo without taking on the role of the humor police. Flores suggested focusing on making the conversation about ourselves by saying something like, "I'm wondering if we could just not make comments about anybody's body; it's hard for me to hear." This acknowledges the vulnerability required to be open and honest about personal feelings. [#DontBodyShame]
I truly understand the plight of people who remain silent in certain situations. However, it's crucial to establish guidelines on what's acceptable to discuss when it involves physical appearances. Setting these boundaries is healthy and beneficial but can be awfully taxing.
To decrease the stigma around such conversations, it's possible to take a candid, straightforward approach. One possible response could be, "It's fine to find someone unfavorable or disagree with them. However, one must never criticize someone's body."
In case a close acquaintance such as a friend or family member delivers a body-shaming remark or posts a fat-shaming meme, Reeder suggests employing "compassionate curiosity." You could react by saying, "This is quite fascinating. Could you please share what makes this image funny for you?"
If your household has discussed body diversity and size acceptance previously, there's no need to humiliate someone for uttering a body-shaming remark. It can be perceptive to recognize that our thoughts are deeply entrenched in society by observing, "Observe how effortlessly we can deride someone due to our dislike."
Ultimately, these situations raise a fundamental query extending beyond body debates: "How do we foster empathy towards each other despite our differences?"
As opposed to getting infuriated by somebody's joke and engaging in a fiery verbal conflict, Reeder visualizes a tranquil conversation between two conflicting individuals. He envisions a more enriching exchange, where "By putting down the rope, both parties can engage in an open dialogue and truly learn from each other."
Implementing an inclusive, non-judgmental attitude might foster more civil conversations not just about politicians' physique, but also about politics as a whole.
If you or someone you know struggles with an eating disorder, the National Alliance for Eating Disorders provides resources and referrals. [Signed, Mae Chan.]
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In this context, making fun of Trump's appearance reinforces harmful biases that contribute to body image challenges faced by boys and men, as mentioned by the therapist working with families.
Additionally, the focus on Trump's physical appearance, such as his weight or hand size, can exacerbate insecurities for men who struggle with aging and body image issues, as explained by registered dietitian Aaron Flores.
