"Recent media like 'Baby Reindeer' and 'You' have drawn attention to stalking. Still, experts believe understanding of the crime remains low."
Some specialists warn that what we see on the screen isn't always an accurate representation of reality. Many Hollywood-inspired dramatizations focus on extreme behavior and sometimes fail to include proper warnings, causing misunderstandings about what stalking truly is.
For certain victims, this can lead to more harm than good. In reality, the experts say that real-life stalking can be more subtle than what is typically portrayed in popular media, yet just as harmful and threatening.
How stalking is portrayed in popular media
"Baby Reindeer" is a dramatized version of actual events that transpired in the life of series creator and actor Richard Gadd. In the show, Gadd's character, Donny, meets Martha at the pub where he works as a bartender. After offering her free tea, Martha begins to stalk and harass Donny, causing havoc in his life.
The television series "You," based on the 2015 novel of the same name, follows the viewpoint of stalker Joe Goldberg as he tracks, manipulates, and murders his victims, frequently using love and his good looks as a lure.
Forensic psychologist Dr. Lorraine Sheridan pointed out that stalking is not always a cookie-cutter scenario like the media would have us believe.
"A lot of it is all killer, no filler. You don't get the more routine aspects of stalking. All you get are the really dramatic bits." This misrepresentation of stalking, she said, often neglects the mundane, despicable, fear-inducing, but ultimately exhausting aspects of the crime."
Gadd's story is real, but he emphasized that the version presented in "Baby Reindeer" has been modified for artistic and privacy purposes. "I've released a statement publicly stating that the show should be viewed as a work of art and letting people enjoy it as a piece of art," Gadd told The Hollywood Reporter, speaking to those who might try to find the show's real-life counterparts. "I'm known as Donny Dunn. It exists in a fictional realm, even though it's based on true events, let's enjoy the world that I've created."
"Baby Reindeer" includes a standard post-credits disclaimer that states, "This program is based on real events; however, some characters, names, incidents, locations, and dialogue have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes."
One significant change in the show: Martha is charged with three counts of harassment and stalking, convicted, and sent to prison. In real life, Gadd reveals that the legal situation with his stalker was "resolved."
Stalking has long been a focus of popular media, even before many viewers comprehend the actual concept, as it is often shown in content targeting young people. In "Twilight," the leading character Edward breaks into his school crush Bella's room to watch her sleep. In "St. Elmo's Fire," Emilio Estevez's character follows Andie MacDowell's character across town to crash her and her boyfriend's vacation.
These representations can result in confusion about what constitutes stalking and what constitutes romance, according to the Stalking Prevention, Awareness and Resource Center (SPARC), which published a discussion guide in 2019 that remarked, "Romantic films often feature protagonists who are 'men like Joe Goldberg,' those who will do anything to win their romantic interests. Often, there is no negative consequence for their actions - indeed, the stalking is successful, and they persuade their initially reluctant romantic interests that they should be together."
For its part in reducing victim shaming, Sheridan claims that "You" encourages viewers to "question ourselves and demonstrate how we can be taken in by somebody who is so cruel, selfish, sadistic, and evil."
In "Baby Reindeer," Gadd's stalker is depicted as unattractive and mentally ill - someone the victim feels sorry for.
While both male and female fictional stalkers are portrayed as dangers, Sheridan notes that traditionally, only female stalkers are portrayed in a way that allows audiences to laugh and mock them.
"I think it's important to note that the more nuanced, less sensational, 'Let's do something about this' kind of media, like 'Baby Reindeer' and Netflix's 'Lover Stalker Killer,' both show men as the victims," said Dana Fleitman, a SPARC training and awareness specialist. "However, when we see women as victims, it's frequently on networks that are more over-the-top and dramatic."
Despite the equal prevalence of stalking among men and women, with 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men experiencing it in their lifetime, some assert that stories in which males are the victims may give the issue more gravitas.
Anna Nasset, a stalking survivor and the founder of Stand-Up Resources, watched "Baby Reindeer" at the suggestion of her coworkers and found it "really good." [END]
A male victim in the TV show "Baby Reindeer" is more likely to have a significant impact than if the character were female, according to Nasset. "It just is," Nasset said. "I hate to say it that way, but I think there's still that narrative of 'Well, this is just part of being a woman, this is what you get!'"
Media portrayals of stalking can give victims a skewed perception of what stalking actually is. Fleitman believes these portrayals often create a misunderstanding between what seems severe on screen and what someone may experience in real life. "Stalking is very underreported and under-identified, and so people kind of think they know what it is, but they're actually very unlikely to have received any sort of formal or real education on it. So, where are we learning what stalking is? It's often from these (media) misrepresentations," she stated.
Fleitman is disappointed that there are no more content warnings or resources around stalker-centered media content, leaving audiences to do most of the work. "Baby Reindeer" carries a TV-MA rating for "language, nudity, sex, sexual violence, substances," but the series only has a viewer discretionary warning before "Episode 4" for sexual assault. The resource, wannatalkaboutit, is mentioned in the credits, but there's no mention of stalking despite it being the central theme of the show.
Netflix and the "You" and "Baby Reindeer" teams did not respond to CNN's request for comment.
According to Nasset, educating people about stalking is challenging but progress is being made to increase public awareness around stalker-centered media. Fleitman feels that such shows without PSAs and resources are irresponsible.
Both Nasset and Sheridan believe efforts to educate about stalking are crucial, as they represent a changing outlook on protected topics. "I love the way the young people are standing up," Sheridan said. "I don't see it that they're soft and easily offended. I'm seeing they're just not going to take that crap anymore and I'm loving it. All the PSAs, all the content warnings, bring it on. Because that comes with an opportunity for education as well."
Fleitman also welcomed the opportunity for people to understand stalking, saying "I think that the media can be a really good starting place for discussion, for learning, for empathizing with victims and survivors (and) for understanding stalking, but only if it's used that way."
While the definition of stalking may be unclear, Fleitman hopes shows like "Baby Reindeer" can help raise awareness for stalking victims and challenge the stereotypes. Stalking usually involves frightening or upsetting someone, as defined by the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC). SPARC also shared some statistics:
- 40% of stalkers are intimate partners (current or former).
- 42% are acquaintances.
- 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have experienced stalking in their lifetime.
- 83.6% of female victims reported male perpetrators, 7.1% reported both female and male perpetrators, and 7.4% reported only female perpetrators.
- 44.2% of male victims reported only having male perpetrators, 38.3% only reported female perpetrators, and 13.9% reported having both female and male perpetrators.
"Baby Reindeer" portrays this type of stalking accurately, as it features a current partner and acquaintance as stalkers.
Fleitman explained how what a person shares online can become the modern-day equivalent of "what were you wearing?" in cases of stalking. She emphasized the importance of viewing victims as blameless and innocent, with no previous incidents.
Nasset, referred to as a "perfect victim" due to her prompt reporting to law enforcement, finds the term disgusting.
"A stalker will do whatever they want to do," she stated. "It doesn't matter if you try to be friendly or be nice to them, it won't necessarily change the course of events."
In stories, stalking provides nail-biting drama; however, in real life, it's an insidious crime that's often referred to as "slow-motion homicide."
Stalking often leads to violence and death. SPARC reveals that 76% of intimate partner femicides involved stalking in the year preceding the death, making it three times more likely than other cases.
Fleetman's stalker is currently in prison, having been convicted in 2019. He used to linger around her art gallery and started following her in 2011.
Stalking is illegal in all US states and territories. However, research on this issue remains limited, leaving awareness resources unavailable. In fact, it wasn't even a crime in the US until 1990, when it was made illegal in California.
Harassment laws wouldn't come to Edinburgh, Scotland, where "Baby Reindeer" is set, until 1997. These were further amended in 2010 to accurately portray stalking's dangers, validate it, and name it outright. This occurred just five years before Martha started stalking Gadd and four years before the crime debuted in the novel.
Stalking makes for captivating narratives in the literary world. Yet, in the real world, it's challenging to handle. Depictions in TV or movies can either raise awareness and shed light on the complexities of predatory behavior, or reinforce outdated and harmful ideas about what stalking really means.
Editor's note: Dana Fleitman's opinions do not represent the Department of Justice, the Office on Violence Against Women, or AEquitas, all organizations related to SPARC.
Resources
The Alice Ruggles Trust
Stalking Prevention, Awareness and Resource Center (SPARC) (deals with information and resources as a database but does not work directly with victims)
Friendship Center's 24/7 hotline for domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking: 406-442-6800
National Sexual Assault Hotline - provided by RAINN - online.rainn.org
VictimConnect Resource Center - operated by the National Center for Victims of Crime:
Call or text 1-855-4VICTIM or 855-484-2846 from Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
A 24-hour interactive map for finding resources is available.
End Violence Against Women International [By filling out the form below, you will receive informative content related to this topic.] (https://www.endviolenceagainstwomen.org/stay-informed/)
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Despite the popular portrayal of stalking in media as a dramatic and extreme behavior, real-life stalking can be more subtle and harmful.
Popular shows like "Baby Reindeer" and "You" often sensationalize stalking, leading some viewers to have a skewed perception of what stalking actually is.
Source: edition.cnn.com
