The unexpected advantages of accepting your anxiety, as shared by someone who experiences it.
When she was just a child, she fretted that her parents wouldn't come back home after hiring a babysitter, so she nibbled away at her fingernails desperately until they did.
As she grew older, her methods of coping with her anxiety evolved - sometimes negatively, like lying to impress her classmates, and other times positively, like taking long walks to clear her head. Eight years ago, she started drawing a small doodle each day to help with her thoughts and feelings.
She shares these daily doodles on her widely-followed Instagram account, @haleydrewthis, to practice her creativity and connect with others who might be feeling similarly. This daily art practice has now turned into her first graphic novel, "Give Me Space but Don't Go Far."
This book has been released during a time when anxiety disorders are becoming more prevalent, leaving many clueless about how to deal with it. The far-reaching consequences of anxiety can intrude on sleep, obstruct life goals, and impede relationships, multiplying the effects of isolation and fear.
For parents of teenagers or young adults struggling with anxiety, it might be hard to determine how they're faring. Inquiring directly often doesn't yield much insight. Weaver hopes her book will help reframe the way we view anxiety and provide a helpful resource for starting challenging conversations within families.
I spoke to Weaver about her anxiety and how her new book might assist others who find it hard to discuss their anxiety.
This conversation has been slightly modified and abridged for clarity.
CNN: It seems you're okay with having anxiety - is this correct?
Haley Weaver: Yes, at its core, anxiety strives to keep us safe - safe from disaster, safe from judgment, and safe from rejection, among others. But anxiety doesn't always make the healthiest decisions, and figuring out how to grasp its warnings without letting them control our lives is the goal. By recognizing the importance of both accepting the presence of anxiety while establishing a "community" of coping strategies, we can manage the persistent thoughts more effectively.
CNN: Were you hesitant about being so candid about the various ways you coped with your anxiety throughout your life?
Weaver: Absolutely! I was terrified that I would expose my innermost deeply personal moments if I was brutally honest about my experiences with anxiety. However, many of the pieces of media I connect with the most are those that share intense and deeply personal stories. My experience told me that being open and honest about my anxiety would improve the effectiveness of the book.
CNN: What do people typically misunderstand about children experiencing anxiety?
Weaver: Parents should regard anxiety as a part of their child that needs care like the rest of their body, not necessarily as something that needs to disappear. With this mindset, parents can help identify coping mechanisms that work best for their kids, or even turn to experts for guidance. There's no universal solution to anxiety, but a mix of coping skills and support systems could prove helpful.
CNN: What's a common misperception about anxiety?
Weaver: People often assume that anxiety is inherently harmful. On the contrary, it serves to slow us down, to remind us to be cautious in our actions. Only when anxiety hinders day-to-day living does it need closer attention and, possibly, professional assistance.
CNN: How can we support our loved ones who are dealing with anxiety better?
Weaver: The first step is to ask how you can be of assistance. A sympathetic ear, a little validation, or a comforting shoulder to cry on might be just what they need. If anxiety is making it difficult for them to enjoy life, it might be worth helping them seek out an expert's advice. While I'm not an expert, consulting professionals has benefited me greatly in managing my daily anxieties.
CNN: You have an outstanding cast of coping skill characters in your book. Is there a favorite one that resonates with you?
Weaver: Admittedly, I have a soft spot for the Liar, who pushes me to lie to impress my classmates - he's a riot, even if he's dishonest!
I also enjoy the Writer, who soothes my anxiety with every word written.
If you're someone who struggles with anxiety or know someone who does, then this book's for you. I wrote it to change how you view your anxiety. Instead of being afraid of it, see it as something to nurture. And through proper care, practice, and the right techniques, you can learn to embrace your anxiety while also giving yourself the space you need.
Michelle Icard is the brain behind "Eight Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success: How to Turn 'Failures' into Character-Building Moments."
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Source: edition.cnn.com
